Is it normal to miss your booty call?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
