as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
