There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
