i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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