let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
