I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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