i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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