Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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