HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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