"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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