i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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