I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
