im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
