why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
