God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
