Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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