erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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