My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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