I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I need water and some morals
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
