If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
