so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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