She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
