i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He shit in the fireplace
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
