You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
