nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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