bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
