The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
