I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
