the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
