did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i've created a new STD.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
