I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
