Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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