i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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