I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
