One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
