Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
