Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
