She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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