If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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