I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
