ugly people sure do ruin things
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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