Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
