id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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