dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
