So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
