Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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