she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
