Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize