It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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