Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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