So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
