if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
