Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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