Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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