his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize