i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
