Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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