I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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